Overworked

I can say this will be a quick one, that I'm exhausted, that I really should be sleeping right now. But then I'd be lying, wouldn't I? I will stay up until two writing, only because I made a promise that I'd write every night, and this whole writing thing is really helping me out.

So I nearly got fired from Teavana today. Apparently I hadn't moved my schedule around so I could have dinner with Dad last night. So I was in New Haven when I should have been at work, and ended up having today off.

And I missed my psychologist's appointment. I never knew psychologists could get upset with you, but he was pissed. I felt awful. I had to work, though! This damn job - fixing computers is slowly taking over my life. It's very difficult to manage my time with this job. I never know what my schedule's going to be until the day of, and even then between traffic and part mix-ups my day could be two hours long or ten. And somehow I have to make it to work at 5 pm each day. I don't know how I'm going to do it.

I'm not sleeping nearly enough. My diet's all fucked up. But I'm finally making enough money, I think. I just gotta learn to keep this up for another three months and I'll be good. In the mean time, I'm stressed as shit. It's weird, but if I fall behind at all, and I'm struggling to make things on time, my muscles all tense up. The pills did this in the beginning on their own, so I think pills+stress=really really tense. Like, I need a massage tense.

Oh, and did I mention how I have pretty much no days off? Working seven days a week, eight+ hours a day. No time for friends. The reason I stay up until two each night is so that I have at least a couple hours free a night.

I went to the movies for the first time in a long time (I had actual unexpected free time due to the schedule snafu). Just my mom and I, so I didn't have to be social. Sweeney Todd was amazing, but what concerns this blog is when we waited at West Hartford's Friendly's to get warm. All I could think about was Shayne; I kept looking for her in there. I wish I could just fast forward to three months from now. I really hope I'm not putting too much hope in this trip. It's not going to be a panacea. I know I've talked about this before, but I really hope it does help.

There isn't really much of a theme to tonight's post. Too busy to really analyze anything, it's more a list of the day's events and immediate reactions to said events. I apologize, but come on. They can't all be good.

Note to self: good future post topic: personal lack of motivation/laziness/lack of standards.